id be glad to
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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