I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
