I bet he comes in French.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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