Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
