I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hippo gnu deer
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
