YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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