1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
