How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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