hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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