I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
