Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
