i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
