Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
