So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
