if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
