Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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