he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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