drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
