You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
