She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
