I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
