She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
