I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
