just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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