I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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