Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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