He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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