Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He better not be in your backpack
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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