Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
