Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
