3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
