margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
