There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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