I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
