Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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