dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
