she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
