He passed out mid-signature
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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