I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
