Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
