Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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