Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
