he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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