I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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