You made me cry and you don't even care
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
