Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mdb_09 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(650): View more from California

i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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(440): View more from Ohio

And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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(216): View more from Ohio

Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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(503): View more from Oregon

How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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(210): View more from Texas

happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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(512): View more from Texas

just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?

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