I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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