How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
