hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
