My room smells like vodka and shame
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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