He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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