didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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