Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
